Parenting isn’t a job that comes with a handbook! It’s a lifelong commitment where you (or whoever is a parent) learn everything while doing it. Unfortunately, most of us turn out to be a parent without much preparation for it. If you are looking to be a good parent, you should know some of the bad parenting examples (Parenting mistakes) and must try to avoid those.
Though it is not always ‘true to the word,’ a saying goes around that bad children come from bad parents! Bad parenting can be attributed a lot to a child going astray.
Parents are the first persons, whom the children hear, see, adore, follow and imitate. Conduct and manners of parents around the children exert a lot of influence on them. So, every parent should be careful about the pretty common bad parenting stuff that they often do without even realizing them as bad!
Here are some common parenting mistakes which are also bad parenting examples:
1. Not Spending Enough Time With Your Kids
The family deserves time. But if you are so busy with your career or business, you may not be spending enough time with your kids. Not spending time with your kids have so many different impacts such as not having enough bonds, not being able to teach your kids about many things you should teach and so on. Especially when your kids are so little and learning things slowly, you should make time and spend as much time as you can.
2. Not Allowing Your Kids Enough Freedom As They Grow
One of the perfect examples of bad parenting is not allowing your kids absolutely any freedom say for example you keep on making all the decisions for your kids and they will never know how to make right decisions. You need to let your kids make their decisions, make mistakes and learn from mistakes. Yes, you can always say what is right and what is wrong when it is most obvious. But you can let them make some decisions so that they learn themselves.
3. Being Too Protective
I know parents who never taught their kids to swim in case they may die trying to learn how to swim! Can you believe it? Where learning to swim is a life-saving affair, parents even find it right not to let their kids get close to water for rest of their life.
Not teaching your kids how to swim thus can be a perfect example of being too protective and also one of the best examples of bad parenting.
4. Not Being A Role Model
When you want your kids to do something good, why don’t you show yourself how to do that. If you want your kids to be disciplined in life, why don’t you be so very disciplined in life so that they can learn from you? If you are a smoker and don’t want to allow your kids smoke, today or tomorrow your kids are not going to listen to you because they always have seen you smoke. It is your responsibility to be a role model and do good things before you ask your kids to do so. It’s you who should avoid bad things and then ask your kids to avoid those. If you want your kids to be punctual, you should be punctual first. If you say your child that you would be back home at 10 pm, you should better back home at 10 pm. Most of the parents say this kind of things and completely forget about it! You will never realize how bad this is until your child starts to the same thing with you when he/she becomes a bit grown up. You need to set examples of punctuality if you want your kids to be punctual in life.
5. Not Trying To Listen Or Understand Your Kids
When your child is trying to talk to you, you should put complete attention on him/her. Don’t try using your mobile phone or laptop or watching TV while your child is trying to talk or play with you. It will render them wrong message about your attention, and they would start not to mingle with you at some point.
6. Not Teaching Ethics (Normal sense of good and bad)
No matter how educated your kids get at some point in their life, the education of normal sense of good and bad must be taught at home by the parents.
If your kids do not respect elders, make racist comments in front of others, telling lies all the time, calling names, you have to be responsible for their activities because it’s the job of the parents to teach that these are bad practices. So, make sure you teach your kids to be trustworthy, responsible, caring, respectful and more than anything else honest at an early age.
7. Raising The Child You Want Rather Than The Child You Have
Maybe you wanted to be something in life but failed and now want your kid to be exactly what you wanted to be. Many parents impose things on their children and end up spoiling the life of their children. The better way is to analyze the interests of your kids, their skills, and nature to determine what is perfect for one to be in life.
8. Being Too Hard On Children
As a parent, you need to be both hard and soft to your kids. You need to express love, affection and all the positive things and then being hard sometimes for important issues may not have a much negative impact on your kids’ mental health. But many parents are too strict with their kids about everything like not allowing them to go play, screaming at them for small mistakes and so on.
9. Letting the Environment Shape The Culture
Another example of bad parenting is letting the surroundings shape and instill the culture, norms, and sense of right and wrong in your child. No two household is same, and they follow different rules and practices when it comes to nurturing a child. Parents should keep an eye on the kid so that he/she can’t inherit any bad habit/practice from the surrounding environment.
10. Comparing Your Child to Siblings or Others Around
One of the most frequently happening bad example of parenting is comparing the child to other children around him/her. Though this is commonly done by the parents, this makes the children hold themselves in low esteem or incapability and make them defiant towards parents. You may always find a kid around who is better than your kid in something but you should not keep telling your kids about his or her lagging behind again and again. Sometimes once or twice to inspire to excel can be good.
11. Failing to Control Negative Emotion In Front of the Children
Always try to control your negative emotions like yelling, shouting, etc. when you are upset, annoyed or tired! Expression of negative emotions in front of children makes them intimidated and may hamper their natural upbringing if you frequently do it in the presence of them.
12. Disallowing Volunteer Roles
Most of the parents don’t allow kids for volunteer roles as they might get tired or hurt! Volunteer roles broaden the minds of kids, and they learn to see the environment in different perspective.
13. Developing Unhealthy Food Habit
Most parents allow their children in the early stage to intake junk foods (as children do love it!) and later try to stop it. If you want to keep your children safe from unhealthy foods, start doing it from day one.
14. Not Encouraging the Child Enough
Parents are the first and last resort of a kid. They need the right amount of encouragement from parents in every action they take. Regrettably, some parents don’t take the time to encourage a child. They often talk about the mistakes or mischievousness done by him/her, not about his/her positive achievements. Again, some parents talk too much about the achievement of their kid which turns the kid to live in a false state of superiority and self-importance. Neither of them is good at all!